So, about those 20 hours of yoga classes that I mentioned....
Today, I took my first class at 6:30am. I was surprisingly awake and ready for this class when it started. I decided my mantra for the day would be an homage to The Beatles, "there is no where you can be that isn't where you're meant to be". We began with a silent meditation (sometimes there is chanting involved), which I made it through quite nicely. Breath was steady, spine was tall, energy flowing. I was "meant to be" right there. And then, we started to move.
Half way through our second set of sun salutations, I started to get annoyed for some reason. In yoga, we're taught to notice the feelings and let them pass. So, I noticed I was annoyed and tried to let it pass. "There is nowhere I can be that isn't where I'm meant to be". I tried to direct my mind back to the practice - with little success. When we got to our inversions, our upside down poses, noticed I was no longer annoyed, I was full on pissed. There I was, upside down and ready to scream. With blood rushing to my brain I reminded myself, "There is nowhere I can be that isn't where I'm meant to be. Settle in Cecy. Just notice the feeling and let it pass." By the time we got to our final pose (called corpse pose because you just lay there like a dead body) I was so damn angry I could spit. I had my eyes closed and I was seeing negatively charged scenes as if I were watching a movie. John Lennon punching Paul McCartney in the face. Blue meanies yelling obscenities at me. The yellow submarine plummeting to the depths of the sea in a fiery ball of death. I swear to you - this is what I saw!
Needless to say, when I left class I found the nearest old man and kicked him until he cried. Hey man, there's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. Suck it.
And with that, Namaste!
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Hmmm, so do you think this was a pent up release that needed to happen for your yoga practice to move forward? Besides kicking the old man, was it therapeutic in any way?
ReplyDeleteI do! It was a huge release. It's been my only instance of angry yoga to date. I do a lot of suppressing my anger in general and so, to be practicing more than I ever have before probably unblocked my heart chakra (I know it's new age-y but the more I learn the more I understand) and released this energy that I tend to keep very locked up. People have all sorts of emotional experiences while studying yoga. They cry, they giggle, they get angry, they have panic attacks - its fascinating.
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